


Prison of Your Mind

by nerdguy3000



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag: s06e10 Leap, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Leo Fitz Feels, Leo Fitz Recovery, Leo Fitz-centric, No Beta, Recovery, fitz is still traumatised by the framework, i wrote this at three am and spend the next several hours on it cause I’m dyslexic and I hate sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23666653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdguy3000/pseuds/nerdguy3000
Summary: How Fitz deals with being taken control of again. In the episode ‘Leap’, he is possessed by Izel, and this is a story to explore how that effects him. Like in the episode he literally like surrenders when he comes though.Aka Fitz is still scared he’s a bad person.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Prison of Your Mind

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at 3 am so if it’s bad I’m sorry. Also this is my first time writing for this fandom so sorry if people are OOC I’m trying my best. Also no Beta so all mistakes my dyslexic ass fault.

Coming through as Izel leaves his body scares Fitz, it terrifies him. For a moment he’s waking up from the Framework, disorientated and sick to his stomach. Only this time he can’t remember how he got there or who he’s hurt this time. His mind is racing with possibilities, was it Jemma? Did he hurt her again? Or was it someone else, had the Doctor taken over? 

* * *

_While he didn’t remember the first time the doctor had hurt someone outside the framework after he and Jemma had got out of their second mind prison and had some time alone he made her tell him everything. Every person he hurt. It took some convincing, Jemma arguing that it was redundant because it wasn’t actually him that did those things. Still he had to know. So she recounted everything, from his heroics at the lighthouse, to fixing their time travel machine, to being home but having the monoliths explode and create the ‘fear dimension’, to the wedding, and finally she gets to The Doctor. Up until that point she had remained positive, but there was no easy way to explain._   
_  
_

_‘You then started seeing The Doctor, from the framework, you told me that was the first time you’d seen him, even though you had heard him before. And y-you removed Daisy’s inhibitor chip while holding me and your grandson hostage.’ She took a shuddering breath as her voice cracked. ‘You surrender straight after but the team struggled to deal with you. But I never lost sight of the man you are, you were under a lot of stress and with the previous brain trauma and everything else we had been thr-‘_

_‘I did it again, I hurt my friends again. I hurt you again,’ Fitz choked out, swiping a tear on Jemma’s face with his grimy hand._

_‘No! It wasn’t you, Fitz you saved the world, you gave your life! The Doctor would never, but you died saving people. You are not your dark side. I know that and one day you will believe that.’ Jemma’s voice never wavered, holding on tightly to her past and future husband._

_‘I truly do not deserve you Jemma Simmons,’ Fitz whispered into the dimly light room they were lying in, running his shaking thumb over her hand as she continued with the exploits, her playing roulette with dangerous chemicals, them being forced to fix the infusion chamber, Talbot absorbing the Gravitonium and becoming an unhinged super powered person, Coulson refusing to take the Centipede serum to save himself and instead giving it to daisy who defeats Talbot, then in a low shaking voice she recalls his death, what Mack has described to her. Fitz gently quieted her, not wanting to cause her more pain. It didn’t matter how he had died all that mattered was that he was back and they were together._

* * *

All that ran through his head as he regained control of his body and brain. He saw a pink hair woman in front of him but none of that mattered. His hands flew up in surrender, no matter what he did he was willing to accept the consequences, was he having a mental break? Again? He hadn’t heard the Doctor, or not that he was aware of. He his team mates reach for their guns, he had hurt someone again. He couldn’t live with more guilt, he has enough for two lifetimes. Fear filled everyone’s eyes around him and his heart grew heavy.

“What happened?” He asked, fearful of the answer, praying to whoever may be listening that he hadn’t hurt anyone. 

He finally realised that the fear in everyone’s eyes had been directed at the woman in front of him. It was Izel, how had she managed to get into the base? And wasn’t she supposed to be dead? Though not that he could say anything on that subject.

“Things don’t have to be painful. They can be so easy. I just need to know who has the most power.”

Oh god she had been in charge of him, and he had hurt someone? Why else would she be talking about pain? Where was Jemma? God please no not Jemma. His eyes darted around the room trying to understand, or to see if anyone could provide an explanation but they were all focused on Izel. He slowly began to bring his arms down, clearly no one cared about him at the moment but he wasn’t in the clear yet. Then he saw it for the first time, Izel possessing someone, and it was disturbing as she took over Piper.

“You all seem like friends, so let’s be smart about this,” she started, using Pipers voice, though it lacked the usual warmth. “Just give me what I want.”

Then in an instant she had left Piper and was in Deke. Not his grandson, as much as they were similar ages and Deke could sometimes get on his nerves Fitz felt a protectiveness for the other man. Like he was looking after him for a daughter he hadn’t had yet.

“Then I’ll be on my way. Easy.” There was no mistaking that was Izel and not Deke, there was no flair or excitement. Nothing like his grandson, that was for sure.

The moment Mack moved towards Deke, putting his hands around his throat, Fitz was shaken out of his stupor by his need to protect. 

“No! Mack! Mack. Wait, wait.” Even if it was Izel in Deke it didn’t mean that this wasn’t gonna hurt Deke. Maybe they would forgive him for hurting whoever it was he had hurt when Izel was in him if he could help Deke. He moved to try and calm in friend. Hoping to get him to think rationally, even if he was terrified to Izel getting back into him, god knows what he could do.

“Maybe if i hurt him, she’ll come out.” Macks words made sense to him, but they appealed to his dark side. He could hear the Doctor, ‘pain is good.’ He had to stop it now, anything his framework self thought was good, should not be trusted. 

“Does that seem like a good plan, my dear?” Okay definitely not Deke. His brain was scattered thinking of ways to get Mack off him. The man was obviously stronger but Fitz had no idea what to say to the man. Mack probably didn’t even trust him, how could he after what Fitz had don’t as Izel. He was not looking forward to finding out. Before he could thing of anything he saw Izel transfer into Mack, now his grandson was in real danger and a solution still escaped him. The sound of Deke chocking tore through his heart. 

“I can kill any of you anytime I want.” It was not an empty threat, it was clearly not. And his fear doubled, not just for Deke but for Mack too. He didn’t want Mack to feel the same guilt that he did everyday. Mack turned towards Daisy and Yo-Yo, “why don’t you come out and stop me?”

As much as Fitz wished they would, so they could help Deke as his brain could find no solution he knew that was not an option. It was better they stayed away, because if not, it might not just be Dekes life in danger. 

“What makes you so special?” He saw the frustration grow in both women as they were powerless to stop Izel. Elena punched the window and Fitz was surprised she didn’t break it. He could see the two exchanging words, but couldn’t hear anything but the blood rushing in his ears. This was all his fault, Izel had used his body to get here and now people were going to pay for it. His fear grew every second Macks hands were around Dekes throat, the scared spluttering as both of Macks hands returned to his throat was a sound he would hear in his nightmares. Then Izel left Macks body, watching what the two men were without her influence. 

“Things happen fast, don’t they?” she said as herself, letting Mack realise what he was going and where he was. He guilt in Macks eyes made him angry but the coughing and gasping of his grandson made him angrier. He almost wished he was still the Doctor, he could hurt her in so many way. But he had likely cause enough pain as it was today. So he settled for helping, instead of hurting.

He rushed over to Deke, holding him up as he stumbled back, gasping desperately for air. Fitz knew a little something about that. But he knew he couldn’t wait there to make sure Deke was okay, he had to get him out of danger, like the field agents deal with that. A protective impulse in him took over and he ushered Deke to the stairs, get him out and to a doctor, Jemma, if she was okay. He kept his eyes on Izel incase she tired to get to Deke, more than willing to protect him with his life. He couldn’t bare to see him like this, almost like he couldn’t handle Jemma being hurt. His only thought was getting his grandkid up the stairs and out to safety. Fitz felt Mays hand on his shoulder and tensed up for a second, the fear that she was about to pull him away from Deke because he was a danger, to his own grandson. But she didn’t, instead she was guiding him up the stairs to safety. And he finally began to feel safer. All while keeping an eye on Dekes breathing.

They stopped on the stairs, Fitz felt it was a safe enough place to check on Deke. Make sure his breathing was returning to normal and that it didn’t have any serious problems. He tuned everything else out as he looked over his grandson for any other injured, anything he caused. He was aware of conversation going on and then he saw Mack grab May and cover her with his body and Piper was stood there with a gun. Izel was nowhere to be found so Fitz assumes she was in Piper and again, and this time she was armed. His brain was overwhelmed by the immense amounts of variables to deal with. Piper could fire at anyone and Fitz wasn’t sure if he would have time to even try and save Deke, never mind the rest of the team. The one thing Fitz had not expected was for Piper to point the gun at her own hand though it shouldn’t have surprised him. He winced as the bullet tore through her hand, she was going to be in so much pain was she came though, not the mention all the damage. He heard multiple people yell out but he knew their efforts were futile, a psychopath cannot be reasoned with. His head filled with all the pleading Inhumans he hurt in the framework and took a shaking breath, trying to force it down until everyone was out of danger. 

“Do you understand yet? Do you see how things could be much worse?” The words from Piper echo in his head but not with her voice, it’s his own. Or at least the Doctors. He knew those words, he had used the before. “All I need is someone with access. And then, poof - I’m gone.”

He knew for a fact that wouldn’t be all there was too it. He wasn’t sure what she was after but Fitz knew she was manipulating them, giving them an option so it was their fault when someone died to further her cause. He knew this because it had been him. 

“Davis, take the shot.” 

“I can’t shoot Piper, Director.” 

He saw Pipers head tilt, she had found her target. The Director.

“You just have to wound her, I’ll finish Izel when she comes out.”

“Don’t make him do something we’ll all regret.. director.” Fitz theory was correct, she has decided her target. 

“Davis now!” 

Those words keep to spur Izel into action and Piper moved so quickly it was hard to keep track. Piper ran past May and Fitz saw Izel go through May, making both women stumble as she reached the stairs. Fitz ascended backwards, keeping an eye on Deke, to make sure he was safe when Izel entered him and fear took over Fitz. He stumbled back, trying to get away from his own grandson when Izel left Deke and made her way towards Fitz. He was terrified, she couldn’t hurt so many people, both Deke and Davis were close and the others weren’t that far away. And if she took him out this room then she could hurt so many people with his body. Then the darkness took over. 

* * *

When Fitz regained control he was stumbling towards a workstation still in the main hub of the base. As he caught himself on the desk, he checked himself for any blood or weapons, though he theorised he had only been possessed for a few seconds. As he turned around, to check on the rest of the team, Davis was pointing a gun at his face. Fear ran through him, maybe he had hurt someone, when he realised that Davis was probably being possessed. As much as that was terrifying as Izel had made Piper out a bullet though her hand and she probably wouldn’t care about putting a bullet though his head, it was also a relief. He hadn’t hurt anyone this time. He didn’t have anymore blood or guilt on his hands. 

“I did warn you - it could be worse.” He was about to die, again. He had never hoped for a telepathic connected between him and Jemma more than now as he sends out his last goodbye, last ‘I love you.’ Never even got his own wedding. Then suddenly Davis lowers the gun, again not what he was expecting.

He watched on helplessly as Davis walked to the end of the walkway and began to climb the railing. His brain filling with possible solutions but non were plausible. He vaguely heard shouting from below but all he could focus on was how this was his fault. He had walked Izel right to the Director, right to Deke, right to Davis. And now someone was going to pay the price. More blood on his already crimson soaked hands. He saw Davis fall to his death and he knees felt weak, he moved towards the stairs but though better than attempting that, the people down those stairs were probably going to be very annoyed and very volatile. Fitz sat back on his heels, hands scrubbing cross his face as he tired to come up with some explanation. He saw the people gather around Davis and Pipers shouts shattered his heart. Jemma had told him how close they had become due to the year of space travel. Even though they bickered like siblings.He watched, not being able to do anything except et to his feet, as Izel entered Mack and put a gun to his head. 

“Do not follow me.” No one moved, “I’d hate for there to be more casualties.”

Shock took him again and he lowered himself onto the top step. Not knowing what else to do. He’d give himself up of course but he couldn’t get his brain to function properly. 

* * *

He knew he had to get down there, so he slowly descended the stairs, stopping by Deke to make sure he was okay. Then he headed for where he knew the medical crate was, he was the one with the most medical experience so if there was anything that he could do to help then he would. At least he could do some good until they locked him up. But as soon as Fitz knelt beside Davis, he knew there was nothing to be done for him. Daisy quaked the window until the glass came flying out, maybe not the best idea but then again they would need all agents to fight this threat. And as May gave orders in the background Fitz gently closed Davis’ eyes over. Deke was bandaging Pipers hand as she refused to leave Davis’ side and Fitz found a blanket to cover the body, Daisy and Yo-Yo left to find Mack. He didn’t like the plan but was in no position to argue. 

As he finished covering Davis’ body May called him over. It was a little premature, there were still things that he could help with however, he knew he was dangerous. He respected May for keeping people safe, he still wasn’t sure who he had hurt. But instead on incapacitating and restraining him she asked, “why Mack? What does Izel need?”

Hiding his shock he realised he was the only person who had spent a long period of time with this women besides Jemma and god knows where she was. 

“She told Simmons and me wanted monoliths. But they’re gone, right? They blew up - all three? There’s no trace of them anywhere?”

“No physical trace, but there was a light left behind,” Deke pitches up, his voice a little rough.

“You said it was a Fear Dimension,” May clarified.

“Wait, what?”

“When the monoliths exploded, it opened this Fear Dimension. I fought a Kree, and saw my mother which was horrible. And you got married a few floors down. That was nice. The other you.” It was good to see Deke was back to his usual self. And he remembered Jemma briefly mentioning it but it seemed a sore topic and not much to do with him so he let it slide.

“It actually manifested living things? Flesh and Blood.” Simmons has failed to mention that.

“Yes, Coulson went in sealed it up.”

“Maybe it wasn’t a dimension?” He theorised, brain working at a million miles an hour. It kept it from drifting to what was to come, for what he had done wrong.

“Izel said the monoliths had the power to create. Now we know that one monolith was ‘space’, another was ‘time.’” He took a deep breath. “What if the third one was creation?”

“That’s where our fears came from?” May asked.

“Yeah, think about it. The physical stones blew apart. That doesn’t- it doesn’t mean that-“

“It doesn’t mean that the energy went away, it could- the light could just be uncontained monolith energy.”

“Exactly. Exactly.” Of course his own grandson would understand. “We’re looking for a link, this could be it.”

“Okay so- so you’re saying that when Coulson went in there with it...”

“It’s possible that the three energies combined to create another Coulson, through space and time, on some planet years ago. And he was left when our Coulson sealed the Gravitonium device.”

“If that’s true then, he doesn’t even know it.”

“Just saying, the other you thought it was a Fear Dimension.”

“Yeah well he wasn’t the smart one.” He hurt the people he was closest too. He caused so much pain and suffering. He wasn’t smart.

“So your Gravitonium device contains the energy from three monoliths.” Dekes comment brought him out of his spiral of self pity. 

“If Izel get that power for herself-“ really not the smart one.

“Yeah.” He was gonna have so much blood on his hands. “Not good”

As May radioed, Fitz turned his attention to Deke. He looked him over for any sign of injury except the apparent neck injury. Anything that might has been from Izel or Fitz. But nothing was apparent. He sat Deke down as he assessed the damage done to him as people arrived to take Davis away and May left. 

“Nothing serious like broken bones but some nasty bruising that will hurt like hell. You’re gonna be okay, just a bit sore.” Fitz said, lying a gentle hand on Dekes shoulder. He was very confused at why they were suddenly alone, didn’t they know he was dangerous. What if he lost it and hurt Deke? Why hadn’t he been locked up. “If anyone is looking for me I’ll be in my quarters.”

If no one else would lock him up, he’d do it to himself.

* * *

He sat quietly, in the room he shared with Jemma. His head spinning with the endless possibilities of pain he could have caused. God he hope no one else had died. Though it was clear he was responsible for Davis’ death. As much has he hated waking up from the framework this was somehow worse, when he woke up from being the Doctor he knew every bad thing he had done, every single bit of pain he had caused. But now he was waiting for someone to tell him, he couldn’t make it right until he knew who he had hurt. He was a monster, he probably shouldn’t be in here, what if Jemma came back and he hurt her, if he hadn’t already. He could feel his hand begin to shake in an old familiar way, like it had after his brain trauma. His leg began to bounce and that when he heard him,

‘You’re weak!’ He couldn’t tell if it was the Doctor or his father. ‘You’re a pathetic little man!’

“Fitz.” A soft voice broke through and he looked up to his beautiful wife. She made her way across the small room, a smile on her perfect face, but as she came closer he noticed a bruise on the cheek. He propelled himself out of his chair and into the furthest corner away from her. “Fitz?”

“Did I- em- did, did I d-do that?” He gestured to his own face as a means to explain his statement, his hands shaking as much as his voice. Fear gripped him waiting for Jemma’s response, she tilted her head confused then brushed a hand over her cheekbone, and looked at him with sadness in her eyes.

“Oh no, Fitz this was Sarge.” She tried to take a reassuring step towards him but he flinched and pushed himself further into the corner so she put her hands out and took a step back. “Hey, it’s okay you didn’t hurt me.”

“Who- who, did I uh, I hurt then?” He squeezed is eyes shut and scrubbed a hand over his face. It should be a relief that he didn’t hurt Jemma but it just means he hurt someone else instead, someone who may not forgive him. He slid slowly down the wall until he was sat on the floor. His hands behind his head and his elbows resting on his knees. He took a shuddering breath and looked up to see Jemma on coms with someone. Probably asking for back up, or, or protection or something. He closed his eyes again and instead of darkness he was Davis, in the last moments before he fell, he could hear the screams from his teammates and the powerless feeling. “Please just- who did I hhhurt?”

‘ Everyone .’ 

He looked up sharply but realised Jemma was still on coms with someone. He saw her nod sadly, take a shuddering breath and turned back to him. Oh god he it comes.

“Fitz, you didn’t hurt anyone.”

“What?”

“May told me everything and I check all the security footage, you didn’t hurt anyone. From the moment Izel takes you over, to the moment she leaves, you just walk around, she is clearly just gathering intel.” Jemma kneeled down, trying to catch his eye but he couldn’t look at her, “you didn’t hurt anyone.”

“I’m still responsable, i- i-, it was me who walked Izel right to the- the, Mack. I put so many people at ri- ris-, in danger, even our own grandson. I should be locked up.”

“Oh Leo, none of that is your fault. You can’t put the weight of the world onto your shoulders. No ones to blame, no one could stop Izel when she took them, and no one but Izel was to blame for Davis. No matter what you believe, you’re a good man Fitz. Do you think the Doctor would care this much? Hmm. You are not him, and you did not hurt anyone.” 

Through out her whole speech Simmons had been edging her way over slowly until she was in reaching distance. She tentatively cupped his face with her hand and Fitz was too exhausted to fight. He took a shuddering breath and let the tears stream down his face. Jemma gently guided him up off the floor and onto the bed. She held him tight, whispering softly about all the amazing things he had done. She unknowingly drowned out the voice of the Doctor and his father, replacing them with her encouraging words. 

He was still healing from the framework, for him it had only been a year and a half and he hadn’t been around people who could tell him that he was a good man. But he was home and Jemma was going to make sure he understood. 

Leo Fitz was a **good** man.

**Author's Note:**

> All feedback is greatly appreciated! Or if you have another fic idea that would be great too!


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